| june - july 2007 Issue 12 |
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respective owner.
Nothing may be
reproduced without
consent.
POEMS
Never start with hesitation
Never start with hesitation
You’ll have already missed the point
Lucy is six now and missing
Her two front teeth
Smart behind those eyes
I imagine she is a little like me at that age
Trouble
And sweetness
All wrapped up together
And I wonder
How we all go
Round
Looking for ourselves in each other
Thinking we got the other person’s number:
Oh yeah- I got you measured up
I got your pant line, your inseam
I got your arm length
And the circumference of your head
I got your number
Just goes to show
No one knows how to communicate this
Brokenness
No one knows how to articulate:
I am missing you
Here at my neck
You,
I am missing you,
And my eyes
Have not drunk from yours in such a long time
Kye just arrived and I am looking into his newborn face
Thinking,
How I have wanted to know you
How I have wanted to hold you and here you are
Head unstable, stuck into the crook of my arm
Eyes closed shut
The star dust still clinging to your hair
A long travel, 9 months in darkness
I would like to ask him:
Do you miss
The thud of the universe
The beat
That tells you it will keep turning
Or do you only notice it now in absence?
By the time he is ready to give me the answers I want
I have hesitated and the answers are no longer the point.
Braden is 11 going on twelve.
I have loved that boy
I still do
I will love him when he becomes a man
And all the steps that will lead up to it
He’ll be kind, and probably a little lost
There is no way to convey this sneaking suspicion:
We all get a little lost
And most of us stay that way
We look for ourselves in each other
Familiar universes
Tap tap tapping on each other’s windows
Looking
Or
Listening for a familiar thud
A beat to the universe
To know it will keep turning.
Never start with hesitation
You’ll have already missed the point
The Last Three
My wisdom teeth need to come out. The last three
Can’t remember why I left them in, in the first place
Now they nag way at the corner of my jaw
Begging to be dug out and thrown away
I need a reason
I need an answer
I need solace
I got this thing in the mail the other day
I was excited
Thrilled even
A published poem
My first
Right…
Something about ‘firsts’
Something about them
I gave my ‘first’ while Metallica played on the radio
‘Unforgiven’ - at the time it seemed
romantic, what the hell
I was a kid
I teach kids that age and I can’t remember why I
I gave my first away
I need a reason
I need an answer
I need solace
I need to see this pattern from a distance
I had this feeling though
About the letter -- might be a scam
Might be some kind of scam to publish my work
Stroke my ego
Who cares right?
I could use a stroke
I could use some loving hands tonight
Take away the ache in my jaw
make me feel like someone special
‘Unforgiven’
Ha!
I played my heart - out
I followed through
With the swing that swung me right out here
Into the abyss of divorce
Got no ground to keep my feet
Just my courage strapped round’ my back
And I can’t remember why I stepped out
I need a reason
I need an answer
I need solace
I need to see this pattern from a distance
I need to dig my teeth out and use them like runes
4am chill
4am chill
can’t sleep
need to pace this one out
dreamt of the possibilities
the six directions of choice
thought it might help to try to write it out
my computer is almost done
the screen shakes for five minutes after turning it on
the draft in the window sinks underneath my skin
and I’m wondering
what the hell am I doing
who am I underneath it all?
what would it be if I just let go
sank back into my bones
let sleep roll over me
I run around saying everything except what is
What is reality
What is this secret I keep from myself
Keeps me between the world and I.
Soften your voice
Place those fingers along my spine
Let me climb up legs and arms
Spin drop
Say nothing
4 am chill
and the cats beg for attention
this is new
me up in the middle of the night
curious
there is something going on in my heart
something,
something
about directions,
about choice,
I need to pace this one out.
Today
Today is a raindrop
Today is your breath on my shoulder
my fingertip
stretched to meet
your fingertip
Today is an ocean
too deep to swim
too close to leave
Leviathan is still breathing
but I don’t mind so much
Today is hushed
humming
not silent
but quiet
not full,
just enough
Untitled
felt mouth slide into mine and my mind shuddered to a halt
no more then what the day holds dear
and the night can slide into dawn or a haze
of hazy passion
fingers and thighs the places to go to hide
a momentary collision
of heart pounding heart and the heat is so heavy
my skin like water
dripping down
down
deeper
down
to the left and slightly higher
wanted this much not less
breath in my ear
shivers down my spine
and a glass heart that shimmers and glides
out of this time
this space held here
and there just below your finger
mine clenches yours
spinning open and high
the breath will see us through
stop
space
and
expand
then release
and fall
back to you arms.
There is something more out there
I feel it when I leave behind my bones.
Jennifer Roberts is from Calgary, Alberta.
Never start with hesitation
Never start with hesitation
You’ll have already missed the point
Lucy is six now and missing
Her two front teeth
Smart behind those eyes
I imagine she is a little like me at that age
Trouble
And sweetness
All wrapped up together
And I wonder
How we all go
Round
Looking for ourselves in each other
Thinking we got the other person’s number:
Oh yeah- I got you measured up
I got your pant line, your inseam
I got your arm length
And the circumference of your head
I got your number
Just goes to show
No one knows how to communicate this
Brokenness
No one knows how to articulate:
I am missing you
Here at my neck
You,
I am missing you,
And my eyes
Have not drunk from yours in such a long time
Kye just arrived and I am looking into his newborn face
Thinking,
How I have wanted to know you
How I have wanted to hold you and here you are
Head unstable, stuck into the crook of my arm
Eyes closed shut
The star dust still clinging to your hair
A long travel, 9 months in darkness
I would like to ask him:
Do you miss
The thud of the universe
The beat
That tells you it will keep turning
Or do you only notice it now in absence?
By the time he is ready to give me the answers I want
I have hesitated and the answers are no longer the point.
Braden is 11 going on twelve.
I have loved that boy
I still do
I will love him when he becomes a man
And all the steps that will lead up to it
He’ll be kind, and probably a little lost
There is no way to convey this sneaking suspicion:
We all get a little lost
And most of us stay that way
We look for ourselves in each other
Familiar universes
Tap tap tapping on each other’s windows
Looking
Or
Listening for a familiar thud
A beat to the universe
To know it will keep turning.
Never start with hesitation
You’ll have already missed the point
The Last Three
My wisdom teeth need to come out. The last three
Can’t remember why I left them in, in the first place
Now they nag way at the corner of my jaw
Begging to be dug out and thrown away
I need a reason
I need an answer
I need solace
I got this thing in the mail the other day
I was excited
Thrilled even
A published poem
My first
Right…
Something about ‘firsts’
Something about them
I gave my ‘first’ while Metallica played on the radio
‘Unforgiven’ - at the time it seemed
romantic, what the hell
I was a kid
I teach kids that age and I can’t remember why I
I gave my first away
I need a reason
I need an answer
I need solace
I need to see this pattern from a distance
I had this feeling though
About the letter -- might be a scam
Might be some kind of scam to publish my work
Stroke my ego
Who cares right?
I could use a stroke
I could use some loving hands tonight
Take away the ache in my jaw
make me feel like someone special
‘Unforgiven’
Ha!
I played my heart - out
I followed through
With the swing that swung me right out here
Into the abyss of divorce
Got no ground to keep my feet
Just my courage strapped round’ my back
And I can’t remember why I stepped out
I need a reason
I need an answer
I need solace
I need to see this pattern from a distance
I need to dig my teeth out and use them like runes
4am chill
4am chill
can’t sleep
need to pace this one out
dreamt of the possibilities
the six directions of choice
thought it might help to try to write it out
my computer is almost done
the screen shakes for five minutes after turning it on
the draft in the window sinks underneath my skin
and I’m wondering
what the hell am I doing
who am I underneath it all?
what would it be if I just let go
sank back into my bones
let sleep roll over me
I run around saying everything except what is
What is reality
What is this secret I keep from myself
Keeps me between the world and I.
Soften your voice
Place those fingers along my spine
Let me climb up legs and arms
Spin drop
Say nothing
4 am chill
and the cats beg for attention
this is new
me up in the middle of the night
curious
there is something going on in my heart
something,
something
about directions,
about choice,
I need to pace this one out.
Today
Today is a raindrop
Today is your breath on my shoulder
my fingertip
stretched to meet
your fingertip
Today is an ocean
too deep to swim
too close to leave
Leviathan is still breathing
but I don’t mind so much
Today is hushed
humming
not silent
but quiet
not full,
just enough
Untitled
felt mouth slide into mine and my mind shuddered to a halt
no more then what the day holds dear
and the night can slide into dawn or a haze
of hazy passion
fingers and thighs the places to go to hide
a momentary collision
of heart pounding heart and the heat is so heavy
my skin like water
dripping down
down
deeper
down
to the left and slightly higher
wanted this much not less
breath in my ear
shivers down my spine
and a glass heart that shimmers and glides
out of this time
this space held here
and there just below your finger
mine clenches yours
spinning open and high
the breath will see us through
stop
space
and
expand
then release
and fall
back to you arms.
There is something more out there
I feel it when I leave behind my bones.
Jennifer Roberts is from Calgary, Alberta.